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Showing posts from January, 2018

It's Okay...

Vulnerability.

It's a concept that has cycled through my mind so much as of late.

Suicide has been a topic of conversation in my little world way too often in the recent past.
2 recent grads from our local high school, lost to suicide.2 local men, both fathers to some of my current students, lost to suicide.And most recently, a cousin of mine, lost to suicide. All males. As is the case with almost all the suicides that have somehow touched my life through the years. As seems to be the case with many of the suicides that some how touch many of our lives through some professional world such as entertainment or athletics.

Suicide is such a puzzling concept for me. I think that you are either a person who understands the possibility of suicide as a choice, or you don't.

I don't.

It's not that I don't have compassion for those who struggle with suicide as a choice. My heart aches for those that see it as their best option. And for those who are left to wonder why after t…

When Things Are Fallng Apart...

You spend your Friday afternoon/evening picking up the winter's worth of dog poop in the yard because it's finally warm enough and dry enough to do so. And doing dishes. And vacuuming. Because giving some order to the cleanliness of your surroundings is about the only thing you feel like you can positively influence at the moment.

And even though you have 2 perfectly capable children who could help with said cleaning tasks, your guilt over not being able to protect them from the pain, anger, and fear that comes from seeing your parents' relationship in crisis (feelings I am far too familiar with having watched the downfall of my own parents' marriage in my teen years) keeps you from asking them to pitch in and help with chores because you'd rather they just partake in the carefree joy and happiness of being 11 and 16.




peace

Breath. Just breath...

It was 2nd grade. His name was Josh. He was the tallest boy in our class, I was the tallest girl in our class, and it was the '80s, so naturally anytime there was a need to be paired up boy-girl in school, we were put together. That fact did not mean that we were friends however. In fact, Josh was pretty mean to me every chance he got. Today, we'd call his behavior bullying. In the '80s, he just acted that way because "he's a boy" or because "he likes you." Whatever, I survived 2nd grade and then we moved and I never had to see him again. In fact, that was one of the benefits of moving frequently as a kid for this awkward, quiet, perpetually "new" girl who was an easy target for bullying. But I'm a little off topic with where I was going with this story...

So this one day, in 2nd grade, in the lunchroom, I was directly behind Josh in the lunch line. Our line was moving along the outside wall of the gym/cafeteria on our way to the servi…