Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Icebergs Ahead...

"I feel like I'm wasting my potential."

Those are words I actually spoke to my husband earlier today.

They are just the tip of the iceberg of feelings I seem to be facing lately about life. Feelings sparked by comments. By conversations. By situations.

Mid-life crisis? The emotional changes of fall? Lingering personal troubles with settling in to our current community? Too much unused mental energy? Regret for not pursuing different paths at different key points in the past?

Ah life, what a mystery you can be...


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Boots, Saddles, and Smiles...

Have I mentioned how lucky we have been in life to meet so many kind and generous people? It's true. We have been so fortunate to be welcomed into the hearts and lives of many families through the years. This weekend has been one reminder after another of just how blessed a life we live thanks to those warm hearts.

Today Lexi and I got to join a friend and her horses for a morning ride. Lexi has been dreaming of this day since we first visited the horses this spring as we planned/prepped our joint family garden out near their pasture. I will admit, I have been pretty excited for a chance to go riding as well. The days when I could spend endless hours in the company of a horse were so long ago, but my love for them as companions has never faded.

Sharing a ride with my daughter today was both incredibly exciting and terrifying. On one hand my overly protective mother bear instinct kicks in every time I look at those beautiful beasts and think how it wouldn't take much for one to squish her like a grape. On the other hand I have to remember that at her age I often spent my summer days out in the pasture on the back of my trusted stead miles from home, alone, without a cell phone, simply riding. Those times are, hands down, my favorite childhood memories.

I've had to repeatedly remind myself lately that I can't protectively hold onto my girls so tightly that I don't allow them to experience LIFE. It's a hard instinct on which to turn down the volume for me, but for my sanity (and theirs), it's something I need to continually work on balancing as we venture into the tween years. Without trusting the universe to take care of my girls when I can not I wouldn't get to experience the pure joy that comes with smiles like these, and what a shame that would be.

Today was a good day. It was a gift. I have tucked away each moment from it in my heart. And I know a certain no-longer-a-little-girl who has done the same, already anticipating the next day she gets to hangout with her buddy Dakota.

Thank you Morgan for sharing your love and kindness (and your horses) with us today and always!