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These Words...

I sit down and type these words. With the completion of this post it's a practice I've completed 671 times. That fact blows my mine. Sometimes posts are written all in one sitting. More often they are pieced together while I make dinner, check on baths, give kisses good night. I write a post, edit, and publish. Sometimes I write a post and delete. Words written, never shared.

What is this spot? A place for memories? A place for thoughts? Simply a place to share a little bit of my perspective?

I often think "How would I feel if my Mom read this post?" because I know she will.

Sometimes I think "How would I feel if some day my girls, or their kids, read this post?" because I hope some day they will. This is their story too.

This blog is probably the closest thing to a memoir I will ever write. I think about how much I would enjoy reading my Mom's thoughts through the years as she lived the joys and challenges of our life when I was a kid. It would be fun to fill in the details of the joyful times I remember. I often think it would help me better understand (and find for myself) how she found the strength to just keep moving forward during the times of struggle.

Yesterday I wrote a post. Well, part of a post. About a struggle. Today I deleted those words and wrote these in their place.

It has occurred to me recently that maybe I share too much here. That maybe some thoughts are better left in my head. The beauty of blogging is it's a way for some of us more introverted internal thinker kind of people to share thoughts that might never become words that pass through our lips. The challenge of blogging is never really knowing what people think or how they have reacted to what you have shared.

I worry about sharing a balance of joys and challenges that correctly reflect the blessed life that I live. I have many, simple joys. And I face struggles. We all do. But neither of those extremes individually define who I am as a person. Neither of those extremes individually defines my life. It's the parts of the whole, the highlights, the shadows, and all the colors in-between, that give life a rich depth only time can help create.

At the same time that I worry about sharing too much, I recognize that these words are part of my life. The bright spots and the shadows...they are part of my story, as I see it, at this time. And I have the fortune and the freedom to be able to share that perspective through words here. How often I wish I had more time to sit with others in my life to listen to them share some of the words of their lives. How much I wish I could hear more about their unique perspectives from where they stand right now, at this time. How powerful the sharing of words can be...and how little time we often take to do so in our busy modern lives.

Currently I'm in a bit of a shadowy place. I've decided, for now, to honor that place by acknowledging it, and in turn have decided to honor this place by not sharing the details with words. Hence the deletion of yesterday's post. It's a struggle only time, conversations with loved ones, and (more likely than not) change can help ease. It's simply part of the story of my life at this time.

Some day I hope those sweet girls of mine, especially if they have questions about how to face struggled times, take time to ask for my perspective. I will hug them long and hard, and through a few tears I will share with them my thoughts based on my experiences. And I will ask them for their own thoughts. In the end I'm guessing we will agree that it is with many words, some spoken, some written, and some simply thought, that we find our way through the shadows to brighter days.

Words...and a lot of love.



My Most Read Thoughts


Today while I sat in a classroom supervising students as they worked on their math assignments, I watched Lexi through the window enjoying time with her friends during recess. My heart smiled.

Those moments, moments of learning and carefree fun, those are the moments that SHOULD make up a school day. As a Mom, and an elementary school employee, my heart is breaking over the news and images coming out of Connecticut today. 
I send my kids off to school everyday without a second thought that they will return safely come day's end, just as I'm sure each one of those parents in Newtown did this morning.
Every day I walk into my school for work without a second thought to my personal safety, just as I'm sure each of those teachers, paras, custodians, sectretaries, etc in Newtown did this morning. 
Theories will be published. Evidence will be presented. Words will be exchanged about gun control and the need for change in our current culture of violence. I don't suspec…

DIY: Reusable Produce Bags

With Earth Day festivities gearing up for tomorrow, I thought I'd take a moment to post a short DIY tutorial on making your own reusable cloth produce bags. (Tutorial inspired by my favorite crafty mom blog, Crazy Mom Quilts. Produce bags inspired by running into my friend Laura at the grocery store while she was stuffing her produce into these.) This is my next step in the fight against the excessive use of plastic bags.

Our family has been making small environmentally minded changes in our daily lives over the past few years. We use reusable shopping bags. We've stopped buying/using Ziploc bags and plastic wrap. I'm trying to commute around town via bike more. I'm being more mindful about where the food we buy comes from and how it was produced. We more often hang our laundry on the line to dry in the spring and summer instead of just throwing it in the dryer. (Which is convenient at the moment since our dryer has decided to quit drying.) As we use up chemically clean…

Sunday Morning Silly...

Once in a while Dando's curiosity urges him to venture off the bookshelf so he check out other toys in the house.

I think he thinks Froggy is missing a few marbles.