Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'm Okay...

This morning I taught the last class in MY studio to a full room of smiling faces. Faces made much more smiley after learning that we will be continuing our morning Gentle Yoga classes next week in a temporary location until I have a clearer idea of what the future holds for me and my business. As the last student exited the studio I picked up my cordless screw driver and in less than 90 minutes returned this...


to a big bare box of a room much like I walked into (minus the blue wall) last September...



Tearing down the studio today was somewhat cathartic. In the end I realized I really needed to do it alone even though I had several offers for help. Having a yoga studio was my dream and if there was ever a chance for realization of that dream I had to be in the one to do the work. In the end I feel like I successfully fulfilled that dream, even if for a brief moment in time. I did it...in a town where I knew no body, unsure of how yoga classes would be received, with minimal financial investment, in a make shift space...and it was good.

I actually expected to feel a bit sad as I loaded everything into my car, but even now that I've finished hauling everything home, eaten some lunch, chit-chatted with a friend, and have finally come to a place where I can sit down and just let it soak in...I'm totally okay. No tears. No regrets. No feeling of failure. No lasting attachment to a space I spent so much time in over the past 8 months. Mostly I just feel grateful. And blessed. And optimistic.

Even though I de-constructed a space today, what was built there remains. It does not take away from the friendships I have started to form within the small yoga community that came together to support my space. It will never erase the memories...like a birthday celebrated with yoga and muffins and friends and family. It does not take way from the fact that at a time when I was scared and lost and wanting nothing more than to run away and go back "home", the studio and the people who gathered there gave me purpose and focus and helped to start to heal my broken heart. Now that the space is no longer mine, no longer OURS, the joy that it helped to bring to my life remains. Today instead of being sad and heavy, I feel light, full of hope, and thankful for the loving support of my family and friends as I have traveled this journey. I'm not sure what the future holds, but the final gift this experience has given me is the knowing that whatever comes my way...I'll always be okay.


peace

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