It's happened several times over the past 8 months. I'm in the middle of a task or I'll start planning a project and I go in search of a craft item/some paper work/that old "whatever" I thought might come in handy one day. And I search. And I pull things out of our new attic space. And I dig through boxes. I can SEE the item in our old house in my head, knowing exactly where it lived in our basement full of random stuff. Yet in the travels from there to here I have no clue where it might be...or if it even made the trip.
Most of the time the item I'm searching for is actually of little importance. Generally it simply means switching to plan B after I spend most of the day frantically searching with no success. Except for today.
Today I started prepping our tax return. Today I needed to find the paperwork from when we originally bought our house in Grinnell over 6 years ago. Today I went to the file box on top of which that folder of papers has lived for the past 6 years (it was an extra long folder so it didn't actually fit inside) only to find...no paperwork. So up to the attic I went to find the box labeled "random paperwork to be filed" only to find, no house purchasing paperwork. And after digging through several boxes, retracing my steps 3 times, and then looking AGAIN I have found...no house buying paperwork.
I'm ashamed to admit how angry it makes me. Angry that the time from February of last year when we decided to take the steps towards listing the house until July after we had made the physical relocation is simply a blur. Angry that in my quest to de-clutter and simplify our belongings I apparently didn't make very good choices about what to off load and what to keep. Angry that when I go hunting for a specific item, what I generally find are a few boxes of holiday decorations, a few boxes of memories, and a whole lotta random useless shit. Angry that I felt so alone during the whole process of sorting and packing our lives up while at the same time that I tried to keep the girls on their normal schedule, my teaching schedule going, and plans made to move my business and our home. And now angry that I feel similarly so as I try to make sense of the stuff that actually made the trip. Angry that through the years I haven't figured out a better system for keeping track of the really important stuff as I sift through all the clutter that a family of 4 can so quickly accumulate.
I'm trying really hard to just let it go. After all, nothing is probably REALLY that important...including the house purchase paperwork. I guess we'll find out if we ever get audited. I'm trying to just let it go...but obviously if I'm sharing this with you all, I'm not doing a very good job at the moment. I guess just like figuring out a good filing system, it's a work in progress.
Thanks for letting me vent.