Monday, February 8, 2010

Non-Standard Measurement...

Have you ever felt like maybe your not living up to your potential...and that your not even sure what the potential is? That for some reason you're having a hard time figuring out why finding long term contentment in life seems to be such a hard task?

The weather has turned frightful again and Scott decided to stay in DSM tonight rather than chance the snowy roads. This had been a LONG, snowy winter and being that it's only February 8th I know we have a few more weeks before we can breathe easy. I'm sure the stress of his commuting through it all has contributed greatly to my unease as of late. I often wonder WHY we don't just move closer to his job...after all, what the heck am I doing that is worth us staying here while he commutes? And for that matter I'm questioning WHAT I'm doing with my life.

Sometimes I think not really following "traditional" means to define the successfulness of our lives makes it hard to know what direction is the right direction to take when looking at potential new adventures. And that deciding to take a less than traditional approach to my professional life makes it that much more likely that I'll second guess decisions when things get a little rocky. And that while I'm kinda an entrepreneurial spirit, I'm not very good at taking risks...or knowing which are the right risks to take.

So many questions and thoughts. Feelings of uncertainty. The dark, cold of winter. It's all getting me down a bit on this cold snowy night. How many weeks until spring?



Marie-Jolie said...

I ask myself that same question frequently throughout winter! It's times like this that make me want to move to a tropical climate!

Kate said...

I'm right there with you! I've felt so lost lately, and I'm not usually like that. I think that you're right about being nontraditional, and not having a real way to measure "success". Do we just say to ourselves "this is success" and then believe it? I guess so, but sometimes that's so hard!

Take care!