Have you ever had one of those days that by day's end you can feel the bitchiness seeping out of your every pore? When for whatever reason a regular day to day interaction sends your thoughts and emotions spiraling down into a pit of darkness. It's like you're at the controls of a train engine pulling a full load of cargo and you get word that if you don't put on the brakes, or at least slow down a bit, derailment is eminent. But instead of heeding the warning you push on full steam ahead only to find yourself in a tangled mess at the end of the line.
Yesterday was one of those days for me.
As much as I hate to blame it on hormones, it's hard NOT to see the connection between my monthly hormonal cycle and "bad" days. It's like a switch is flipped and suddenly (though usually only for a day...or two...thanksfully) I totally lose the ability to rationally deal with any adversity (actual or perceived) in my life. How I wish a warning light would go off at the beginning of such days so I could lock myself away in my craft room without access to email, Twitter, Facebook, or my cell phone. It would be really nice to not have to wake up in the morning with morning after remorse over my negative (and sometimes immature) attitude and behaviors of the day before. (I'm so thankful that my husband, especially at the end of my worst of cranky days, still ends the day with a hug, a kiss, and an "I love you" before we drift off to sleep.)
Today I welcomed, yes WELCOMED, the end of this month's crazy hormonal roller coaster with the arrival of Aunt Flow. Already I feel calmer. Nicer. More able to deal with any challenges ahead. (At least for the next 4-6 weeks.)