Monday, February 9, 2009

Spending the day with my heart in Texas...

This picture was taken 14 years ago this coming June. Half my brother's life ago. He's now taller than me and I have a few wrinkles starting to crease at the corners of my eyes, but there is no mistaking we are those same two individuals...at least in appearance. So much has gone on in the 14 years since he walked me down the isle that day. I cherish this photo for many reasons. Of course first because it was such a special day. I am always thankful for that day when I look at my loving husband and our beautiful girls and feel the warmth in my heart which burns for each of them. Secondly, in many ways, this picture signifies a change in my brother and I's relationship. This is about the time he went from being my annoying little brother to my friend. While our contact was sporadic for a few years after our parent's divorce while we were both adjusting to new and different lives, our sibling connection grounded us when were were together, allowing our relationship to move forward. Today I'm so happy to say my brother is one of my dearest and most beloved friends. My life is richer and has more depth because of our connection.

Today Jason is in Houston for a routine cancer check-up. Today's visit will mark 9 months since his surgery and follow-up which proclaimed him a cancer free man. A cancer free man who will for the next 10 years of his life have regular check-ups to make sure he remains as such. His chance of re-occurrence is VERY small, but still I get so anxious on check-up days. I try as best I can to go through life as normal, but my mind, my heart, just isn't all here today. Part of it is in Texas looking over my little brother, trying as best it can to keep him safe. I wait patiently to get a call or a text to let us know things are clear and that for the next 3 months we can go on without a second thought. I wonder if these days will ever get easier? If time will help to lessen the worry?

I'm hopefully that we'll have much time, and many, many healthy check-ups, to find out.


peace

3 comments:

Sara said...

I am so glad your brother had a good check-up!

MS said...

BTW, you guys look like babies in this pic!! Oh so young...

Anonymous said...

WOW! I remember that day--what a beautiful ceremony! We had a great time! As for the cancer check-ups, they don't get any easier. You hold your breath and pray that there isn't a reoccurrence and then breathe a sigh of relief when everything is fine! Love to you all, Mom Kyle