Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Goodbye 2008...

Other than posting about my exciting New Year's Eve activities of teaching myself to knit, I haven't really said much about the coming of a new year. Last year I explained my feelings about making resolutions at the start of a new calendar year (basically that I don't), but still listed a few of my hopes for 2008. That was January 6th. Who would have guessed on January 6th while I was writing about my hopes for the new year, what would actually go down through the course of the following 12 months. So shall we recap those hopes just for fun and see what has become of them 12 months later?
  • I biked a lot, but stopped keeping track of time and distance some time in the spring after my brother's cancer diagnosis. The stats didn't seem as important as the connection to him I felt when I was on my bike. My riding took on a whole deeper meaning than miles and minutes.
  • I still drink soda.
  • In 2008 I attended one large yoga conference and maybe 2 or 3 classes that were not taught by myself. I still love yoga.
  • I had 2 massages in 2008...both made possible through gifts from others.
  • My SI joint and sciatic issue are still an issue, but I'm more aware of what helps them to feel good and what causes aggravation.
  • I went veggie. Then back to carnivore. Then back to veggie. I'm currently at carnivore status, but I don't eat meat every day and often still choose veggie over meaty. I don't beat myself or anyone else up for their choice either way.
  • I played with my camera a lot. And I love it more than ever. And I am at times more confused than ever. I think photography is kinda like yoga...a journey.
  • I think our family life has become more conscious and more balanced in many ways. We still have a lot of room for growth. Growth takes time and nurturing.
  • Fun was had.
I am honestly quite happy to see 2008 move into the history books. We (we as in our family, immediate and extended) dealt with some shitty, shitty things in 2008. That's all there is to be said.

So how do I feel about looking forward to 2009?

I'm afraid following the past year I'm a bit apprehensive about making any predictions. About sharing any hopes. Not that I don't have them. They're quieter hopes. More personal. I guess I'm just less tied to things with a measurable outcome these days and we all know when setting goals or making resolutions, having a definable measurement of your accomplishments (or lack there of) is key for success. (Or so the "experts" say. Those are two words that have somewhat come to annoy me lately...success and expert. After all, they are both so subjective.)

So here's what I think about when I think about 2009:

  • I'm going to use more sunscreen. (I say "going to" because right now in Iowa there is little use for sunscreen...unless you count the glare from the snow as "sun".) I should. It will be healthier for my skin and will help me set a better example for my girls. (I also know this little bit of news will be welcomed by 2 of my closest friends who also happen to be doctors.)
  • I'm choosing to focus my personal energies doing things and fostering relationships that feed my soul. Life is too short to continually fight to stay connected to things and people that don't bring joy into one's life. I do this for me, for those I love most around me, and for once in my life I really don't care what others think of that decision.
That's it. Everything else is present moment life. All the joy, all the pain, all the ups and downs, all the things we think we are in control of, knowing deep down that really we can't control anything, all those things are just life as it unfolds. I plan to live that life as best as I am able in 2009.


peace

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